Living The Quran
From Issue: 685 [Read full issue]
Pardoning
Al Nisa (The Women) - Chapter 4: Verse 149
"Whether you publicize a good deed or hide it or pardon a (personal) offense (done against you), know that God has the power to pardon (all sins)."
This verse embodies a moral directive of very high value to the Muslims. If a wronged person speaks out against a wrong-doer, he is quite justified in doing so. Even though this is a person's right, it is more meritorious to continue to do good both in public and in private, and to ignore the misdeeds of others. For one's ideal should be to try to approximate to God's way as much as possible. God with whom one wants to be close is lenient and forbearing. He provides sustenance even to the worst criminals and seeks mitigating circumstances in even the most serious offences. In order to become close to God, one ought to be generous in spirit and full of tolerance.
True forgiveness occurs only when we allow ourselves to face the truth and to feel and release our emotions, including our anger, about what was done to us. It is completely premature to forgive if you haven't even acknowledged that you were harmed. When children are asked to forgive abusive parents without first experiencing their emotions and their personal pain, the forgiveness process becomes another weapon of silencing. The same is true of adults who rush to forgiveness. Many people have been brainwashed into submission by those who insist that they are "less than" if they don't forgive.
Many people think that forgiving someone who hurt them is the same as saying that what happened to them was okay or that it didn't hurt them. But forgiveness doesn't mean that what happened was okay. It simply means that we are no longer willing to allow that experience to adversely affect our lives. Ultimately, forgiveness is something we do for ourselves.
Compiled From:
"The Holy Quran: Guidance for Life" - Yahiya Emerick, p. 78
"Towards Understanding the Quran" - Sayyid Abul Ala Mawdudi, Vol 2, p. 101
"Healing Your Emotional Self" - Beverly Engel, pp. 113, 114